Funny conversation between a Nigerian baby and the mother while she was in labour

On the day a super smart baby is about to be delivered...

D0wnl0@d

Midwife: Push!  Push!

Baby: No way!

Mother: What?!

Baby: What work does Dad do?

Mother: Who cares?! Get out!

Baby: Strangle... Strangle...

Mother: He works at the bank,  now get out!

Baby: Cleaners work at the bank too,  so be more specific.

Mother: He is... He is the manager!

Baby: Hmm... Not bad. So we are probably living the life.

Mother: I guess.

Baby: What do you do, Mother?

Mother: is this really necessary?

Silence...

Mother: if you must know,  I'm a lawyer!  Now get out of my body!

Baby: Now.. Now...  Let's take deep breaths and calm down.

Mother: (irritated) I'll be calm when you're out!

Baby: You're yelling at me, mom. I'm scared. (Begins to wail loudly)

Midwife:(whispers) Madam, do not agitate the baby until she is out. When she does, then you can show her who's boss...

Baby: I heard that! (wails louder)

Mother: Hush sweetie, mommy loves you.  Mommy does not have to do that.

Baby: (sobs) Okay mommy. But are you related to Dangote? I heard on the news that he is quite rich.

Mother: No,  we are not. Please sweetie, mommy is tired.

Baby: Ugh! I'm coming out.  You don't need to get all weepy.

In 5 minutes baby's head is still not visible.

Midwife: What is the hold up?

Baby: I'm thinking.

Mother: What now?!

Baby: I want to be the only baby you'll ever have. I want to be the only one you dote on.

Mother: Don't be ridiculous and so self centered!  Your father and I plan to have 4 more kids.

Baby: No!

Mother: Okay 3...

Baby: Zero!

D0wnl0@d

Mother: 2 and that's my final answer!

Silence...

Mother: Okay fine!  You can be the only child,  now please come out.

Baby: I'm not stupid. Put it in writing and I want Daddy's signature on it too.

An hour later...

Mother: We have the papers,  so now come out so you can have them.

Baby: Push it through the hole,  I need to see for myself. Plus, I think I need a lawyer of my own so you cannot find a loophole around this.

Mother: We will not lie to you.  You're our baby.

Baby:(going through the document) Okay. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt,  but one more thing....

Everyone present: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhh!

Baby: Just in case you're thinking of cutting me out,  I'll have you know that I can always locate an intestine or two or perhaps a lung on my way out...

Mother: What do you want?!

Baby: I don't know if I want to be female or male so I'll want to have surgeries anytime I want to be one gender.  I don't think I want to carry a child.

Mother: You can have as many surgeries as you want. Come out!

Baby: Put it in writing.

Moments later...

Baby: I'm comiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing! (Finally out of the womb) Damn! Is this what orgasm feels like?